I'm trying to find something

I don’t know what it is but I do know that I want it. It’s something elusive I can feel it. I’m almost close to it but it keeps slipping through my fingers. It could bee peace and tranquillity but its not. I can’t put my finger on it. I feel restless like something is urging me on. I must find it at all cost. It has to do with peace I know that but it has to do with security also. Not the kind of security that involves barbed wire. No it’s more the kind that has to do with shelter, food, warmth and love all rolled in to one. Sometimes I feel like I am running or hiding or both. I want to escape from something large and threatening but it is all around me and it’s closing up on me and I can’t get away. I can’t get other people to se the threat. I know where the threat is coming from. I’m running from a culture that excludes divides and classifies. I am escaping from culture that thinks in terms like we and them, young and old. I’m hiding from dualism. I’m trying to flee from the very culture that’s surrounding me. I feel like I’m holding on to a rope and this rope is everything that is holding me and my hands are slipping