I was so glad I thought that the backbone of winter finally had been broken. I was feeling happy for the first time this year. I had hope. To day I was brutally thrown back into my depression with -10°C. It isn’t fair to first be given hope and then have the rug pulled away from under your feet. I have been to sunlight therapy today but it didn’t really help. Or maybe it did. Maybe it is good for me to sit down and cry my heart out. It feels so hopeless. Maybe I have come to realize that everything is suffering just as Buddha says. I am so glad that I have a loving husband and understanding children whom I love dearly. Not to forget my loving animals. You can read about my old dog Dutch and little Taffy in earlier pages. Someone who really helps me to get through my depression and the pain I have in my wrists is my old cat Axel. Axel sleeps in my bed. He is a very large male (castrated) black cat about 14 years old. He takes my wrists with both of his paws and pulls it towards his tummy and snuggles up with my wrist in a firm grip. The warmth from him takes away my pain. He is more effective than any pharmaceutical painkillers I could by. Not all cats are snugglers like he is. It is now way past my bed time and I and going to try to dream about spring and flowers and cosy little house with a cosy little garden in a country far away. I read about it in a blog called Steps to the sky which I follow.